My Love, My Life, My Always
by BoneyCastle237
Summary: "Your dead! I saw you die! You just gave up! You left me, I saw! You're dead! You died!" She wakes up sure that he is dead, can he convince her otherwise? Alternate ending to my other fic "Always" Oneshot. read and review!


**_Hey:) So this is how i was planning to end my other fic "Always" (Please read) but it seemed to similar to a previous chapter so here it is as a oneshot!:) you dont need to have read that one to understand, but it would help with a back round story!:) Please read it anyway though! let me know what you think!:)_**

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><p>"<em>Always"<em>

_She read it again and again, fighting to hold back her tears. She would not cry here in front of everyone. She would not show weakness, not when he wasn't there to be strong for her. She gritted her teeth at that thought. If he was there then she wouldn't be in this situation, she wouldn't need him to be strong, she would have no reason to. If he was there she would not be upset at all. It was the fact that he wasn't around that made her need him around. _

_She shuddered as she realised he would never be there for her again, she would never see his beautiful blue eyes looking back at her, never feel the comforting circles his hand always made on her back to soother her when she was sad. _

_He was gone and she was alone. _

_She still remembered that day, the events that transpired would forever be burned into her memory, they had entered the apartment looking for their guy, just the two of them, him unarmed but still backing her, like he always did, an overly loud foot-fall and then a shot. She was trying to get to him, willing herself to move but she was frozen. Rooted to the spot, unable to stop the life from leaking out of his chest. _

_And then he had died. _

_She jerked back to the present, and she couldn't take it anymore, she started running, her emotions finally breaking free, the words on his tombstone, the words she herself had chosen, were running through her mind, _

_**Here lies Richard Castle, **_

_**My love, my life,**_

_**My Always.**_

_The last word screamed in her mind accusingly, because he wasn't her always, he was gone. _

_She felt an arm wrap around her torso, winding her, she turned as her toe connected with something on the ground and she fell, unable to stop herself, she hit the ground with a dull thud._

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><p>She awoke with a start, her breathing was hard and she could feel the tears dripping down her face. She was drenched in sweat and everything seemed to be closing in on her.<p>

She couldn't breathe, it was too tight, everything was choking her! She swung her arm out behind her, wincing as she felt it connect with what she assumed from the sickening crunch was her attackers nose.

She flung herself away from him, and then she was falling again, and then she wasn't.

She lifted her head and looked up at the bed in front of her. This wasn't right, it seemed so familiar but it wasn't hers.

She backed away from it, pushing herself along the floor using her hands and feet. She felt her back make contact with a wall and she leaned into it, closing her eyes trying to understand.

She could smell him everywhere, he was in the carpet she sat on, in the sheets she had found herself tangled in, he was in the shirt she was wearing!

She pulled the shirt over her head, and threw it as hard as she could as far away as possible. Clad only in a lacy black bra and matching panties, she put her face in her hands and cried. Her body shaking so violently with her sobs, it felt like the earth beneath her was moving.

He was gone. He had died and she hadn't and now she couldn't get rid of him, he was surrounding her, suffocating her, trying to fool her into thinking he was still there when he wasn't! He was dead! He was! She saw him lying there in his blood, his lifeless eyes staring back at her.

She couldn't have made it up, it had been too real. She could feel him now, hovering over her, even in death he refused to leave her side.

He pulled her up, holding her just above her her elbows, effectively stilling her arms in case she tried to hit him again.

"Your dead! I saw you die! You just gave up! You left me, I saw! You're dead! You died!"

She was beyond hysterical, thrashing her arms and legs out, screaming at him, she was hurting badly.

"Kate I'm here, I'm not going anywhere I promise, I would never leave you." His voice was slightly raised so she would hear him through her sobs.

His voice grew softer as she grew quieter.

"I'm right here Kate, I'm here and I'm ok, and I am not going anywhere."

She looked at him through all her tears. His shape was blurred and distorted, she could hear him talking but it didn't make any sense.

"No, you're dead, you're not really here. You're dead"

She kept repeating it, her heart still racing, head spinning slightly from her outburst. She was trying to make sense of everything.

He took a step closer, releasing his grip on her arms. He snaked his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him, pushing her head down against his warm, bare chest, his shirt having been splattered in blood from him nose.

"Listen Kate, " He stopped speaking, so she could do as he said, and listened with her. His heart was beating, strong and steady against her temple and she looked up at him, new tears forming in her beautiful green-brown eyes.

She didn't speak. She didn't have to, he understood and held her close as she buried her face in his neck and cried, her hands finding their way around his neck and threading into his hair. He pulled her closer, her half naked body now flush against his.

They stood like that until her breathing calmed and she was sagging into him slightly.

"I love you" It was all she could say, and it was all he needed to hear.

"I love you too" He didn't hesitate to reply. She looked into his eyes and she knew he meant it.

She knew that despite her hang ups and her walls and her brokenness, he would always love her, and in return she would love him

Always.

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><p><strong><em>So yeah, this is how the other fic was meant to end. Please read it and review both, lemme know what you think!:) <em>**


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